Dear Don Quijote,
My heart started to race and a wave of impatience washed over me. The lights dimmed and a roaring thunder exploded from the sea of fans surrounding me. But at this time, I was alone. Just me in standing there in this huge arena. Tears filled my eyes and my trembling hands somehow found their way to my face. A few tears escaped my eyes and streamed down by face, burning hot with passion. The anticipation built in the air like humidity and my breath, once steady and calm, was stripped away from me. My knees, quivering more and more each second, began to loose their stability. But my eyes so fixated on the stage ahead refused to break focus, keeping me upright. Just when I think I can’t take it anymore, they run on stage and save me.
I cant help but wonder… Can you relate to this feeling?
Yes. It is no secret. I love One Direction. Having been to three of their concerts, one may think that I would begin to loose interest the more I go. But each time exceeds my expectations. The “new concert smell” doesn’t wear off. Being there in the same room as them gives me that natural high that we all search for in life. Do you know that feeling? Each time you go on a new adventure, is this not the same sensation you are searching for? Freedom. Excitement. Escape. For that brief moment in time, you get to escape reality and be happy, nothing more. You are not alone in your trek to be liberated.
In fact, no one is alone in that sense. It is human nature to want. To need. What more is an obsession than a want? We want what we can’t have. We want what we don’t have. We want to feel accepted in some way. The irony is, while writing this paper, Grey’s Anatomy came on (great show). The ever so wise Meredith Grey said, “Don’t ask why people are crazy. Ask why people aren’t.”
Even the sanest people can find themselves sitting down sometimes and imagining a parallel universe, where they aren’t themselves or their lives aren’t their lives, even for just a brief moment. For many of us, this is our flotation device that keeps us from drowning in the chaos that we call life. As the waves are crashing down on you, what do you reach for? When life gets hard for me, I reach for my obsession; them. I can put my headphones in and escape my stress and struggles, even for that 2 minutes and 46 seconds that the song is playing for. I no longer need to think about anything else. I become weightless. Other may use structure, if you have OCD. And for you, chivalry is that door you lay on when the Titanic sinks (Please make room for Leonardo DiCaprio…He’s too beautiful to die). “Se debe saber, pues, que nuestro hidalgo pasaba sus ratos de ocio leyendo libros de adventuras caballeras con tanta adicion y gusto que se le olvido casi todo.” To escape the struggles and brutal realities of your life, you create a false reality to entertain yourself. To save yourself. You are not weird or abnormal. You are simply human.
When you look in the mirror, what do you see? A crazy man? A lunatic? No. You see a human being. Whenever anyone looks into the mirror, they see one too. Yes, we may have scars or bumps and bruises. Everybody has them. We all have a bit of crazy that lies behind our eyes. We all are flawed, crazy and imaginative. But, we all share this in common. And if we all have the traits, then why should one be ostracized for displaying them.
They say theres a thin line between being normal and crazy. And if you aren’t careful, you can find yourself on the wrong side very quickly. Yes, obsession is a vacuum that sucks you in. Yes, obsession is an addiction in its simplest form. But, people like you and I are not crazy. We still have control. We can still say “I know who I am” at the end of the day. We can still catch our reflection on a shiny surface and recognize ourselves. But, some people completely loose this ability. Charlie, the protagonist in King of California, is a prime example. He told his daughter, “Sometimes I wake up and I’m not me.” Although in our heads we can image when we aren’t ourselves, or not in this environment, we still know who we are. At the end of the day, when we wake up, it is not a search and find to figure out who we are.
To be honest, when I first read your story, I passed judgement on you. And I owe you an apology. There was a broken bridge that kept us separated. As time passed, and I got to know your character better, it became clear to me that you aren’t crazy. You aren’t abnormal. You are just like all of us. And no, I don’t mean that I love chivalry. But we all love. We all obsess. The bridge that once kept us on two different worlds is now mended.