The truth is I am unable to write about what I would really like to write about this week. Anger, rage, disillusion, sorrow, even despair, I need to leave all of these emotions elsewhere and pretend that everything is fine, when it is not. Censorship, silence, abuse of power, deception, mistrust, no, these things do not exist. No, they especially do not exist in the world today. Isn’t that right?
Reality is that I am afraid. I am afraid of putting my foot in my mouth, and, for this reason, I can’t, nor do I even dare, to say anything. And, I have reason to doubt reality. Actions belie words. The silver-lining is that I still adore my students, and I am able to find motivation to continue with them, even on the most frustrating of days. I encourage my students to promote social justice and combat censorship while I am incapable of changing the system I find myself in, but everything is fine. I feel fine.