The Ugly Imagination
by Samantha Marinelli
My life would be better if I was the only person in the world. Destroying and killing until I am alone. Nobody would be here to steal the opportunities in my life and nobody would be able to hurt me. The people who have deceived me will be the first to be destroyed, and they will never see salvation. I will create my scheme for their demise. My dreams tell me that nobody can be in my way, and if they are I will eliminate them. The world is mine, I can help it or destroy it by lifting one finger. The next people to be destroyed will be my teachers that do not believe in me. I am intelligent, I am beautiful, and I am better than all of the other girls. I do not need a teacher to tell me how incredible I am. They will suffer until the end of their lives, and they will never again tell me who I am. After, the rest of the world will be destroyed. The girls will be buried with a dead flower on their chests, and the boys with their first books from their childhood. There will be no mothers or fathers to protect them. There will not be enough time to scream, and nobody will hear them if they do. I will tell everyone, «Watch out, everyone, and be careful, because one day soon, I will get you.»
I could never be as wicked as I have described, but some days, I would like to try.
Perdidos en sus pensamientos 
I appreciate you posted your dark thoughts. It is much less common then expressing an opposite. I mean there are human rights, everyone is fighting racism and so on. When people would be asked (at school for example) whether killing a criminal is right, they would probably get on their high moral horse and reply: «Of course it isn’t». Everyone seeks to maintain their appearance in public. However, I think not everyone has such a moral strength actually. Moreover, reading internet discussions, watching news, world conflicts and such support my negative look on humanity.
I wonder whether you are trying to trace an origin of your ugly imagination? I mean true origin. It’s obvious such thoughts come up when we are hurt. But why is that? I believe it has much to do with concept of death. When your beauty, intelligence, feelings etc., are rejected, it means something like they do not exist for the other party. In other words it is like they are dead for them. But how can this be when the feelings and thoughts are living inside you? I believe it is the contradiction that gives birth to negative feelings. It is in human nature to fight with everything he has to ensure his own existence.
I agree with you completely, so many people express such positive feelings when in reality they feel the opposite. It’s scary to think about, but of course there are times when we have bad thoughts. I always am interested in seeing what really goes on in people’s heads.
Indeed. Equal attention should be paid to bad thoughts. It is dangerous to let them well up in people’s hearts. We should just neutralize them through discussion or other form of expression. Otherwise our mental health will suffer.
Wow, impressive but I am a little bit nervous after that. I don’t think that will be better if I was the only person in the word. I think I would start to be crazy after a week (or maybe after a longer time). But I understand what you mean. Sometimes (when I was younger and thought that I know everything) I hate everyone who says that I can’t do something or I can’t understand something. In this time I do everything for show them that they lied. But was I really one of the biggest problem of teachers? Of course I had some of this “insecure” teachers that says something like: “You will never do what you want,” but now I know that was their problem, not mine.
I think this is great essay and it’s easy to understand. And for me (with my problem with English) is understanding really important.
Your English is great don’t worry! I really appreciate that you can find a way to relate to my piece. I understand that it is very dark and dramatic, but the truth behind it is what is most frightening. Thanks for your response!
After reading about your imagination, I am surprise that you put teacher in the second place. It is such a big world and so many people can be put before teacher.