Energy. So much energy. Wake up ready to go, go to sleep wanting to do more. Always ready. Confidence. New possibilities. New faces are seen as new friends. Every word is happy and excited for the future. Happiness. Excitement. There’s no way to look down, up is the only direction I know.
Black. Black is everything I see around me and the only thing I ever want to see. I don’t want to go out or see anyone. Anytime anyone talks there is something wrong about what they are saying. I am always bothered. I listen to people who whisper and judge and think they know about my world.
Somewhere in between.
Change. I sit in the middle and wait for the change. I’m afraid to be happy because I know the depression will come. I am afraid to be sad because I know the mania will come. I am in constant fear of the constant changes that will continue to come.
2 comentarios sobre “Feelings”
I don’t want to instruct or advise someone, just write something about my opinion and experience about feelings. I know this very well. Happiness is just so wonderful feeling so why to be afraid to by happy? When depression come it doesn’t mean that happiness will never come back. Although someone with depression see everything wrong, sad and everything is annoying, some little thing or some nice memory can make smile on his face (it works for me). But it’s difference between «normal depression» that everyone has some time and depression like diagnosis, here can really help only medicaments and doctors, because it’s not only about bad mood. Bud back to happiness, there is nothing better than going around town and have good mood for no reason. But there is other side… being angry for no reason. It’s a terrible feeling. Sometimes I’m so angry that I’m afraid that I’ll do something I’ll regret it. With depression and anger helps me my girlfriend, without her I had depression more often. She is great 🙂
Yes, it’s exactly me! Some days I wake up with so much energy that I don’t understand from what it is and then it can be just a few minutes for example I found that we will write tomorrow test from Chemistry and I have got depression. It is horrible for me and mostly for my neighbors, because I cannot just imagine which type of mood I will have tomorrow morning. The worst is it by my mum, she is a totally the most moody person which I know. One day I couldn’t speak at her for fully afternoon, because she had her “mood” and other day I have got breakfast on the table. I think a lot of people have got the same problem like you or me. My solution is think before the night at a good things and smile on my face.This help me and mostly every next day we have got a new change to start again with new shield.